I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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