yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
