HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
