Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
