My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were trust falling into bushes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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