Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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