You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
