I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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