yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We're too hungover to prance.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
