I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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