I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
