She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
