if you like me you must not know who I am
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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