yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
