It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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