I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
