i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
