You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
