I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
