She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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