I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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