Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
