youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
