It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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