i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
