How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I did not marry a roomba.
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