Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
