let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize