Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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