Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
