We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
