Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
