just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
