whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
