i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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