Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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