i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
