I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
