i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
