so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just pee around me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
