Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
