Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
