I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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