Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
