So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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