so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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