If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
