My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Your penis caused this!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
