Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There are leaves in my underwear?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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