There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
